you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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