You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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