Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize