he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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