im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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