and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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