When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize