I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
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Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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