six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize