with your own penis?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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