It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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