ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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