There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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