The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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