im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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