so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
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She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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