K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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