It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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