he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize