I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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