i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize