Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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