The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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