idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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