Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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