Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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