Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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