Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize