No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize