after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dear god my vagina.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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