I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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