Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize