Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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