In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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