So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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