$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
