Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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