chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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