only if we run a train.
done.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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