Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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