He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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