I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize