Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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