It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize