he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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