I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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