She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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