You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I need a burrito and a hug.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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