You're my little dorito
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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