you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its about making memories worth repressing
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There r osticjed everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize