If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
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So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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