I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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